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It never did. And yet, the idea still prowls around out there. You can thank prime-time television for that. Look at the most popular shows and movies. A nerd lands a beautiful airhead, just by being there. Look, beautiful airhe do not fall in love with nerds just because they hang around long enough. It le to toxic fantasies like the idea that you can love someone into submission. But Amy should definitely wind up with Sheldon. So a guy meets a girl. Instead of asking her out, he hides his motives and tries to ingratiate himself.
He acts like a friend. So she treats him like one.
And then he gets sulky about it — because he thinks being around and available should be enough. Like maybe if he helps her put together one more piece of furniture. Or if he comforts her during one more breakup….
The guy keeps pining after romance, performing acts of service you might expect from a friend — helping her move, hanging out with her, maybe even unclogging her sink, or plunging her toilet. A semi-mature adult lives in a world where she assumes everyone is capable of asking for what they want.
Anyone who subscribes to the friend zone blames the woman for putting the guy there. Anyone who finds themselves in the friend zone needs to acknowledge how they got there… by their own doing.
You pose as a friend, and passively wait for something to happen. But rejection is a natural part of the dating cycle. If you want a yes, you have to risk a no. Stop blaming the girl. Also, try this:. But consider this:. What you have is the pretense of one. The only way to have a real friendship with someone, regardless of gender, is to be honest with them. If she needed help moving, or just fixing a floor lamp, she would go to dinner with a Hot mature friend a couple of times.
She would wait a day. And then she would call them up and ask for the favor. After, she would ghost them. You know what happened to this girl? She ran out of friends. And we all eventually got sick of it. We found other, better friends. So can you. She loves attention. But not the bedroom. Same goes for a lot of guys.
Let them have each other. Plenty of people want to drink, dance, and grope away their 20s.
Go live your life. Mature guys and girls hang out all the time. They do it in groups, or just the two of them. Sometimes, two friends can fall in love. A guy and a girl can date. They can break up and become friends for a while. They can start dating again. It happens all the time. Sure, it can get weird sometimes. A guy and a girl can also just be friends forever.
They might just stay that way. Same goes for anyone who feels attracted to someone else. They might even date and then break up, and get married to someone else.
Sometimes, you break up with someone and you never want to see them again. Other times, you hang out. You become lifelong friends. Some of the coolest people I know started out as somewhat random hookups. Yes, I still find them attractive. You want a real test of friendship? If you want them in your life, then get your hormones under control. Also, show some awareness about how your partner might feel about all this. Include them in the friendship. And be honest with everyone, including yourself. The friend zone assumes women are dumb and blind.
These days, a girl shows a guy she likes him pretty quick. Eye contact.
Body language. And so on. Head over to a bookstore. Humans have bodies. We use them to communicate, and especially to season our words. You can do the same thing. You can start to lean into a kiss. Most healthy relationships would make terrible movies. Think about it. A guy asks a girl out.
So they go out. They have a good time. They have sex. They keep doing that. Sometimes they have arguments, but they work on their communication skills and learn how to forgive each other.
Eventually they move in. Maybe they get married and have a. The end. Would you watch that? The friend zone works great as a plot device in movies. Believe this:. A friend can turn into a lover. A lover can turn into a friend. They can also turn Hot mature friend a ghost. Find out. in. Felicia C. You can only do that to yourself. Jessica Wildfire Follow. Or if he comforts her during one more breakup… Guys put themselves in the friend zone The guy keeps pining after romance, performing acts of service you might expect from a friend — helping her move, hanging out with her, maybe even unclogging her sink, or plunging her toilet.
A relationship takes a pinch of backbone Anyone who finds themselves in the friend zone needs to acknowledge how they got there… by their own doing. Also, try this: Acknowledge your feelings. Stop pretending to be a friend. If you want something more, say so. Respect her answer. Respect yourself. The worst thing you can do… is hide your feelings from someone. Girls are more direct than you think The friend zone assumes women are dumb and blind.
I Love You Relationships now. I Love You Follow. Written by Jessica Wildfire Follow. More From Medium. Cold Body, Nobody. Liv Mello in P. I Love You. How do we get better at listening? Sara DeHoff. Why eloping could be the best decision you ever make. Jon T Williams. Scott Muska in The Bold Italic. The kind of girl she is…. Muhammed Talha Hashmi. Tops tips when engaging with a bottom. Demi God Faye.Hot mature friend
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